I had an Xbox and but then discovered the truth, the real form of gaming – PC gaming.  Yeah but hold on – what’s with the fiddly key board and the ridiculous new way of conversing I’ve now got to learn?!

So I get CS:S and HL2DM and go online to find some people to play against.  It’s all a bit random isn’t it?  On the public server list I pick a nice sounding place and join.  No idea what or where it is.  How do people discover where’s good?  Anyway got playing and got my ass kicked, and kicked again.  No mercy here.  No idea who I was playing against – just a bunch of guys (and gals?) with funky names in numbers and different case letters.  I really must get me one of those.  Then the chat started.

I reckon there must be a planet or school where these people go to and learn this.  How else do you ever find out what the *@ is going on?  I now know to say “WTF is that”, but get it mixed up with FTW.  Everything is between 2-4 letters and is not like txt speak.  I begin to stick out like a zit on a chin as the guy who is always *dead* and writing long messages.

“Is this your best game?” was the kindest way one player asked why I was so rubbish.  There were then only 3 of us on the server so we had a laugh; me with any weapon and them only with knives.  I didn’t get one kill.  It was “lol” funny and I learned I am a “n00b”.

I’m a proud n00b and hate losing, so time for more practice….

By Sm00th